Black Parade
by xoTrollyXO
Summary: Bella is a drug addict who wants to end it all, Edward is a church boy who saves her from jumping off of a cliff. When they start getting to know each other will she pull him down with her?
1. Survive

Somewhere between happy, and total fucking wreck  
Feet sometimes on solid ground, sometimes at the edge  
To spend your waking moments, simply killing time  
Is to give up on your hopes and dreams, to give up on your life.

-Survive RISE AGANIST

*********************************************************************************** 

It was my escape, it was my solace, it was my addiction. My name is Isabella Swan and I'm an addict. My drug of choice- acid. On the outside I looked like an everyday seventeen year old but on the inside I'm a hardcore addict. I never wanted to end up like this. To think I used to scoff at those spineless people who put their own life on the line. Now, I'm just like them. My addiction would have never started if I would have never met _him._

Jacob Black. He pulled me into this fast lifestyle of sex, drugs, and rock and roll. It was a fun ride for a while, until he decided he was bored with me and dropped me like a bad habit. I still can't fully grasp how drastically my life has changed in the last two years. I used to be a model citizen. Now, my life revolves around when I'll get my next fix. I know Jacob Black is not the only person to blame here, but it is much easier to imagine that he ruined my life. If I hadn't have been so stupid I would probably be living my dream right now. I had wanted to get a degree in literature, but that changed when I met the monster. Now colleges would laugh at my application.

You see, acid has opened up so many doors for me. It has been the only constant thing in my life for the past two years. I know my dad Charlie, worries about me but I can't seem to care. I can honestly not fathom how I can kick this addiction. It helps me relax and forget about all the problems in the world. When I'm high all I can feel is complete and utter peace.

It helps me forget all of my hidden secrets. If I were to ever speak to Jacob Black again I would thank him for showing me how fun life could be. But yet I hate him because he left me. I can't wrap my head around why he did. Were all of those "I love you's" not enough?

It was great for a while. It was my own personal savior. I could wind down, but now all it seems to want to do is tear me down. I wish I could turn my addiction off but its not that easy. This disease has taken hold of my life and I want it back. Day to day all I worry about is when I'm going to get my next high. I want to pursue all of my ambitions but I can't do that with such a weight on my shoulder.

Now I just want to end it all. This life has been crazy and fun, but now all I am is a shell of the person I used to be. I honestly think its my time. I am a burden to everyone around me and it would be a better world with one less loser in it. I have been contemplating this for a while now, but something has always held me back. But this time it was real. My life has just gotten worse. It will be so much easier on Charlie if I were to just let go of my pathetic life.

I couldn't push my truck fast enough. I just wanted to get to the cliffs as fast as I could. I didn't want to have any second thoughts. Its very hard to get my truck past sixty but I managed to get the speedometer to seventy.

As I approached the cliffs I knew that this was the right thing to do. I parked my truck along the road and stripped down to my bra and underwear. I left all my valuables in the truck along with a note to Charlie. Of all people he deserved an explanation to why I killed myself.

I walked to the peak of the cliff and looked down. The water looked black and icy. It was fairly cold out so I could only imagine how cold the water will be. The rocks beneath the cliff were sharp and jagged.

"Now comes the mystery." I say to myself right as I was about to jump

"Don't Jump! For the love of God please don't jump!" I heard behind me and I whip my head around to find the most startling shade of green staring back at me. "Just don't jump okay?" He said.

"And what business is it of yours?" I snap back.

"Because if you jump, I'll have to jump in there after you and we both know I don't want to do that, so save us both" He replied.

"My work here is done, so why wait?" I ask. The nerve of this man. How could he think he had the right to tell me what I can and cannot do?

"Trust me your work is far from over."

I took a breath before I replied. "You have no clue who I am so you have no clue as to why I am doing this."

"It doesn't matter the reason nothing is bad enough to take away your own life. God has a plan for you. Live life to the fullest. Don't give up on him." He said and I started to ponder at his words.

"If god has a plan for me I got the short end of the stick."

"That's not true, you haven't even lived your life completely so you have no idea what his plan is for you." Why did it matter to him whether I killed myself or not.

"Why does it matter to you? You don't even know me or what struggles I've been through." I said.

"It doesn't really matter to me because yes I don't know you, but I have to do the right thing. And the right thing is to try and save you. Trust me your time here is not done, please believe me." How could he affect me like this? I just met him five minutes ago and I'm already second guessing my intentions. "Put you clothes on and just drive away. You don't need to take the easy way out. It may have taken a lot of courage to get up here, but the real courage is walking away."

"Okay." I said defeated. "Only because you asked so nicely." I said humorlessly.

"If you're ever feeling lost just go here." He said handing me a brochure to some church.

"Thanks." I said picking up my last article of clothing. "Thank you for saving my life."

Why didn't I think of the ramifications of my actions? Charlie would have no one. How could I be so selfish? Why did I only think of my needs and wants? This green eyed angel is the best thing that has ever happened.

As he was walking away I knew I needed to know his name.

"Hey! Wait up!" I screamed. He stalled and I ran up to him. "Would it be okay if I asked your name?" I said.

"Edward Cullen, nice to meet you." He said smiling crookedly.

"Bella Swan." I said extending my arm. When he touched my hand it felt like my whole body went into a frenzy. It felt as if I were completely whole again. "Thank you so much." I said recoiling my hand.

And with that I walked back to my truck with a smile on my face.

**SUNDAY**

How was I going to do this? Can you just show up at a church? I haven't been to a church since I was seven. I had nothing to even wear.

Everything I owned was not appropriate for church. I had to go; I owed something to Edward Cullen. I could wear my black dress, but that was too showy. I could wear a pant suit, but then I'd feel like an old lady.

I found the only thing church worthy; black dress pants and a midnight blue blouse. Even if it covered me up I never felt so exposed. I felt as if no matter what I'd wear I'd be judged. Edward knew that I was going to kill myself that was embarrassing enough as it is.

What if he told everyone there? God, I hate this.

I slipped on a pair of black flats and drifted out of the door to my ever so loved truck. I put the key in the ignition and the engine flared to life with an angry grumble. I pulled out of my driveway on my way to hell.

I pulled in the parking lot and felt like I would have an emotional breakdown. What if he really did tell people he saved some psycho lady who was about to jump off of a cliff? Or were church goers sworn to secrecy about things like that? I sat in my truck debating whether or not to go in when I heard a tap on my window. I looked up to meet the same pair of eyes I saw last Tuesday. I pulled my window down a stared at his perfection. I was snapped into reality when I heard him talking. "You made it!" He said.

"Yeah, here I am." I said. "Can you show me around or something I have no clue where I'm going." I said laughing nervously.

"Yeah sure." He said. At that moment I saw a pretty blond walking over this way. She was beyond beautiful. I felt completely embarrassed to even be in here presence. I never felt more ugly in my life. She had blond hair and striking blue eyes. Her legs were long, but she wasn't lanky. She had big full red lips.

"Baby!" I heard her yell, and saw Edward whip his head around. She ran up to him and jumped into his arms and he caught her. They were the picture of the perfect couple.

Of course they would be together.

_I can't believe you even thought you stood a chance. _My annoying side said.

He put her down and stood there awkwardly before introducing me. "Lauren, this is Bella. I told you about her." Great, so he did tell people.

"Pleasure, Lauren." I said offering my hand for a shake. She looked at me then my hand and she did something I did not expect. She wrapped me in a giant hug and held me tightly.

"I'm so happy he saved you." She whispered in my ear. She was nice too. That was just icing on the cake. She was _perfect_.

"I am too." I whispered back.

"Okay this way ladies." Edward said somewhat awkwardly like he didn't know what to say. He lead me into the church and showed me to a seat.

It was a few minutes later when the Reverend walked in. He was beautiful. He had blond hair and oddly golden eyes.

He walked up to his podium pulled out his bible and began his sermon.

"What is strength? Isaiah 40:29 says '_He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak__' When you put your trust in God he in turn will give you the strength that you need." He said._

_His words really hit home with me and before I knew it church was over. The choir started singing and people were being dismissed._

_"Well I guess that's my cue to bounce." I said nervously. They both gave me odd looks. "Um, I meant I have to go."_

_"It was nice seeing you again Bella I hope to see you here next Sunday." I knew one thing was for certain; I would be coming back._

_**A/N 1- New story, I had a lot of fun writing this but it took a lot of hard work and thinking. How does a non-church goer write a sermon? Haha, well review please.**_

_**-Ashley**_

_**A/N 2- Huh, well Ashley pretty much summed what we both had to say. Review?**_

_**-Kaitlin.**_

_"**)**_


	2. Teenagers

**BPOV**

**The boys and girls in the clique  
The awful names that they stick  
Your never gonna fit in much, kid  
But if your troubled and hurt  
What you got under your shirt  
Will make them pay for the things that they did **

**Teenagers- My Chemical Romance.**

I don't know why I had wanted to go back to church again this Sunday, but when I was there it felt like I belonged. It made me feel like I was something more than just pathetic. Most of all I think though is that it has given me hope. Hope that one day I can be a better person and have my life back on track. Seeing Edward there is just an added bonus.

I will admit that I didn't completely understand what was being said but I understood the moral of the sermon. I realized that nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending, and that is what I'm trying to do.

I don't know how I will do this but I pray to God that he can give me the strength and courage to believe in myself. I came so close to jumping off that cliff that day, and looking back at the experience I believe with my whole being that God gave some incentive to Edward to be there to save me. I'm glad he did because now that I think about it I am not ready to leave this earth. I have far more to accomplish. There will be bumps along the road but I'm ready to take them on headstrong.

One of these small bumps being school. At school I was on the fringe of the outcast clique. This fact did not matter to me though. I had my friends and I really didn't need anyone else. The people that I hang out with are considered the loners.

The Fakes like to call us the burn-outs. I like to call them the fakes because that is exactly what they are. Nothing about them is real. Even their so called "friendship" is utter taboo. It consisted of ruining reputations, stealing boyfriends, and backstabbing. Why anyone would want that kind of friendship is way beyond me.

I was a size four in a world of zeros. They knew that this was my only insecurity that I show and they also knew how to make the wound cut deep.

"Hey lard ass, did you run to the cafeteria to stuff your ugly little pig face," the head fake named Tanya called.

"Fuck you," I replied.

"Wow lardy that just hurt so much. Hey have you ever heard about the South Beach diet? Maybe you should try it; as if it would even put a dent in that blubber," she cackled.

"Just leave me alone Tanya."

"Hey Largella where do you get your clothes? From a dumpster?" Alice questioned.

I looked over my appearance and thought I hadn't looked so bad. Yes I was wearing a well worn pair of sweatpants and my favorite over sized hoodie. I've looked worse so her comment really didn't bother me much.

"Not everyone has to look like a slut, Alice," I retorted.

"You really need to watch what you say fat ass," the Queen Bitch herself Rosalie Hale threatened. As if I was scared of her I have been in far more frightening situations than this. I walk with the monster almost daily so this was like a cakewalk.

"I really don't want to put up with your shit today, Rosalie," I said while turning on my heel.

"Crack whore!" They called after me. I in return flipped them the bird while walking away.

AP English: my favorite period of the day. Many people think that I'm stupid but that is so far from the truth. I was smarter than half the kids that attend grand old Forks High. I may look like the girl that doesn't give a damn, but my academics mean very much to me. Sure I have screwed up some of my classes but I still take them seriously.

This month we are studying the life and writing of Edgar Allan Poe. I have to say that he is probably my favorite poet. The story on the agenda today was "The Tell-Tale Heart". This was my favorite piece of writing that Poe has ever created. It just boggles my mind. In a way, I believe I could relate to Poe in some kind of way. He probably had too many skeletons in his closet to count. That is the same with me. I have so many secrets that I wish I didn't know.

On my way home my thoughts constantly floated back to Edward and his startling green gaze. I wonder if he judges me for the mistakes I have made? But even my thoughts were completely wrong about the character that Edward is. In my mind I have created an Edward that is a snarky, narcissistic prat. In my heart I know that he is truly an angel. He is a good person through and through. I think I just want to think he is a jerk so I can feel some kind of similarity to him when he is around. I wonder how God could let such a saint walk around with a world full of sinners?

When I got home I desperately needed to get high. My only problem was that I was all out. I would have to wait a few days for my next fix due to the fact that my dealer is out of town, figures. So, I decided to start preparing dinner for me and Charlie. I guess that cooking was also an escape for me. If only I could let that be my only escape.

Soon after I finished up with dinner and talked with Charlie for a bit I decided it was time to call it a night. That night my dreams were haunted with brilliant green eyes and full red lips.

**Sunday **

It was Sunday and my stomach was doing back flips. I was so nervous. What if people wondered why I had even bothered to come back because they obviously knew I did not belong. I put on the outfit I wore last week seeing as I had nothing else acceptable.

I slowly ambled my way out to my truck and headed off to church. When I got there I spotted Edward right away. He looked absolutely gorgeous in black slacks and a deep orange dress shirt.

I soon felt self conscious. Why does he have to be so beautiful and I have to be so plain? God, this world is so cruel.

A light tap on the window brought me out of my internal musings. I looked over and saw that it had been Edward that tapped on my window. I opened up the door and hopped out of the cab.

"I'm glad you were able to make it again," Edward said.

"I'm glad to be back," was my reply.

"Hey I'm just giving you a heads up, but every third Sunday of the month is the church's meet and greet. So there will be no sermon today," he said. Great now I'm going to have to tell people who I am.

"So, what exactly happens during this meet and greet?" I asked.

"Well, Carlisle will start things. All you basically do is stand up state your name and give one fact about yourself that not many people know. It's pretty easy."

"Do you have to participate?" I asked.

"You don't have to but you really should. No one is here to judge you, Bella."

"Okay," was my pathetic reply.

Edward directed me to a pew and I sat down. Edward left, but only to come back seconds later. He looked really upset.

"Hey Edward are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine its just that my sister was supposed to show up today but of course she bailed out again," Edward huffed.

"It's okay Edward, something important might have come up. Hey where's Lauren?" I asked belatedly.

"Oh she went to visit her grandparents in Palm Springs," he answered. As soon as Edward finished up his sentence Carlisle took his stance at the podium.

"Well ladies and gentleman, let's get this meet and greet underway. My name is Carlisle Cullen and one fact that people may not know about me is that I like to sing in the shower," he stated.

Carlisle then pointed at Edward to take over from there.

"My name is Edward Cullen and one fact that you may want to know about me is that Prince is one of my all time favorite artists." He then turned to me with a bemused grin on his face and picked me to go next. What a dick! I don't want to do this. I can't do this. I want to keep myself hidden from everyone. Despite my inner conflicts I decided that I will do this, for Edward.

"Um, my name is Bella Swan and my favorite color is green," was all that stumbled out of my mouth. This wasn't even a lie. Until very recently my favorite color had been brown. Soon everyone was well acquainted one another. I was just about to leave when Edward pulled on my sleeve.

"Aren't you going to stay for the luncheon?" He questioned.

"I didn't know that there was going to be one."

"Yeah you should come and keep me company since Lauren isn't here," Edward said.

"Okay, I guess I'll come," I replied.

"Fantastic."

It felt like I was in some kind of alternate universe. I didn't do these kind of things. Like why would I even want to eat lunch with almost complete strangers? They seemed inviting enough but I still couldn't really trust these people. You never know when someone is going to turn their back on you in a matter of seconds. Believe me I know how cruel and ruthless the human psyche can really be. My mind is a prime example. The thoughts that constantly running through my mind could make a nun blush.

"Is that all you're going to eat?" Edward asked staring at my plate incredulously. I looked down and saw that I had only picked up a hot dog bun. Well, this is embarrassing. I was so wrapped up in my own head that I had completely forgotten that I was even going to eat.

"Um, no I'm waiting to get to the dessert table, I have a bit of a sweet tooth," I quickly covered.

"That's okay. I just wanted to make sure that you got enough. My mom and her friends usually cook enough food for an army when we have these kind of things," he joked.

"Yeah I completely understand where your mother is coming from. I cook all the time and I usually make enough to feed five when there is only me and my dad."

"Yeah, so where would you like to sit?" Edward asked me. I wasn't quite sure. I knew I didn't want to sit anywhere near the congregation. Would that offend Edward if I told him I did not want to sit near the people he so dearly cares about? I decided that Edward was too nice of a person to get mad and make a scene. I sensed that he a very compassionate being. So, I decided to take the plunge and tell him I wanted to sit in the back and not near anyone.

"Why don't we just sit at that deserted table in the back, if you don't mind."

"It's cool if we sit back there," Edward said. I was completely relieved, but now a new nerve was starting to set in. What am I going to talk about for the next half hour or so? We had nothing in common. I liked to get high where he liked to go to church and save lives. No matter how hard I tried I would never have a hundredth of the kindness or brilliance that Edward holds. He captivates me and I have nothing to offer him as far as conversations go. I want to know everything about him and there is nothing that I could reciprocate for him. I'm not a very interesting person.

"So Bella, tell me about yourself." Shit.


	3. Will You Be There?

**Will you be there  
As I grow cold?  
Will you be there when I'm falling down?  
Will you be there?**

**Skillet- Will you be there**

**BPOV**

I had no clue what I was going to tell Edward. I couldn't possibly tell him that I was a hardcore drug addict. He probably already thought I was on something, so would it really hurt if I told him? I could tell him how good the drugs made me feel. How nothing could make me feel as good as the drugs did. How they were my escape from this pitiful world. _God, stop joking yourself Bella. _I mentally scolded myself.

"Ummm, I go to Forks High." I mumbled.

"Really? My sister Alice goes there." Was Edward's reply. I could not believe that sinister bitch was related to Edward. She has literally mad my life a living hell and here I am with her angel of a brother actually having a conversation. _Why must God hate me?_

"Do you know her?" Who doesn't know of Alice. She is one of the biggest bitches in school is what I wanted to say.

"Yeah I guess. I've spoken to her a few tines."

"Really? She's never said anything about you."

"I guess we aren't friends. Merely acquaintances." I mutter. "Actually she kind of hates me." But I don't think he heard that last part.

"So who do you call your friends?" He probed.

"I really don't have friends. I mean there are a few people I speak with, but I don't really consider them friends. So, why don't you attend glorious Forks High?"

"Well I go to school in Port Angeles. I attend Wagster's School of Performing Arts. It is pretty challenging, but I know it will help me get into Julliard. Lauren goes there too." Of course perfect Lauren would go there.

This boy had some major goals. I felt like some insignificant piece of dirt compared to him. Edward had his whole life planned out. Sure I had some pipe dream of maybe attending college, but I knew that college wasn't in the cards for me.

In this moment I envied Edward. He had nothing holding him back from reaching his dreams. He was brilliant and beautiful. He probably had very little demons haunting him compared to me. He was perfect in every way while I was perfectly flawed. "Wow those are some pretty big goals." Was my weak reply.

"What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life Bella?"

"I'm not really sure yet. Right now I'm taking life day by day. I'm letting the adventure of this crazy world play out for me."

"So you don't have any real goals planned out for yourself?" He inquired.

"I mean I have a few things planned out. The one thing that I'm absolutely sure about is that I want to get out of this pitiful town the second I can."

"Why do you want to leave?" This boy was relentless. I didn't know this had turned into a game of twenty questions.

"There is nothing that this town has to offer me." Was my reply.

"Really? I can't wait to leave either. Julliard would be such a great opportunity for me. I really hope Lauren and I get accepted." Again with Lauren. _Gag me with a spoon._

A few minutes passed before I heard anything. "Hey Edward." Chirped a hauntingly familiar singsong voice from behind me.

"Alice! I thought you weren't going to be able to make it today." Edward excitedly said while getting up.

"I thought I wasn't going to make it, but a few things I had going on wrapped up a bit early, so I decided to drop by and give my favorite brother a visit."

"I'm so glad you're here." Edward told her.

"So am I. Who is your little friend here?" Alice asked.

"Oh! This is Bella Swan. She goes to your school and says she knows you."

"Lovely to see you Isabella." Alice said with a forced smile.

"Its always a pleasure seeing you too, Alice." I replied with what I hoped looked like a genuine smile. Alice took the seat next to Edward. The next few minutes were spent in an uncomfortable silence until Edward finally broke it.

"Well I'll be right back I'm just going to throw this stuff away."

"Okay." I said. Edward left and it was just Alice and I.

"You know Lardella my brother may like you, but I'm never going to like you." Alice blurted out. She continued to bash me. "Edward may not see the real you, but I see you for who you truly are: a pathetic waste of space. You will always be a loser so stop trying to win. Stop trying to get with my brother to try and make yourself seem _cooler. _You are just a charity case for him. Edward doesn't really care about you he just feel sorry for you. And if by some odd chance of fate my brother actually likes you I will do everything in my power to bring you down. Stay. Away. From. My. Brother. Got it? He's with Lauren. She's ten times better than you'll ever be." Ouch! That really hurt. I thought Edward was my friend. Just then Edward appeared.

Once the conversation started flowing I stayed quiet mulling over the things Alice had just told me. Was I really just a charity case to him? I hope he thinks a little better of me than that. Yes he saved me from killing myself, but what does that make us?

He's my knight in shining armor; even if I didn't want to admit it to myself. Those words Alice said to me actually cut deep. Which is completely surprising because Alice's words don't usually bring me down this much. It actually felt as if she stomped on my heart.

I just want to know what I did to make her hate me so much. Why couldn't she just give me the time of day? Maybe if she actually got to know me she would like me. Who am I kidding? Alice doesn't like anyone without an amex. All she seems to care about are the materialistic things in life. If her hair is done perfectly, if her clothes match accordingly to her outfit. Secretly I wish I could be more like her. You know all girly without a worry in the world.

And I knew Lauren was ten times better than me. She was perfect in every way I wasn't. She's talented, beautiful, smart, blonde, and last but not least she had Edward. This world was cruel. I was dealt the bad hand at life. All I was good at these days was getting high. To think I used to have goals. I used to have a passion for music and art. Now my only passion was when I'd get high next. I wish I had an easy life like her. To have everything handed down to me on a silver platter. To be blessed with good genes and grace.

But how dare she accuse me of getting close to her brother to be _cool. _That is absurd. Her brother was probably one of the kindest creatures out there. Yeah, and to think I wanted to be like her. She was a bitch. She was cold. She didn't care who she hurt to get what she wanted. She was one of Rose's disciples. She was _the _enemy. I couldn't want to want to be like her. She's not a good person. She may have what she wants, but she will never have a true friend. I had been thinking about all of this for well over ten minutes when Edward said, "Well everything is about over now, but I have to stay and help clean up. I'll walk you to your truck first Bella. Bye Alice I'll see you at home." And with that Edward and I were on the way to the parking lot.

"That was interesting." I blurted out.

"What was so interesting?"

"Nothing." I mumbled.

" You know that I heard what Alice said back there right?" Edward said.

"You caught that?"

"Yeah I did and I apologize for Alice's rude behavior and I hope you know everything she said isn't true."

"No Edward she is right. I'm not a good person. You may think you know me but you don't. I don't even know why you would want to know me. Heck if I were you I sure wouldn't want to know me. I'm not good Edward.

"Bella I can see that your a good person and I never claimed that I knew you, but I hope you give me the chance to get to know you."

"I said you don't want to know me. I'll see you next Sunday Edward." And with that I hopped into my truck and left Edward Cullen to get my next fix..

**A/N**

**Can someone please review to let me know they're reading. Pretty please. I know the song doesn't fit the chapter that well but if you think hard enough it fits almost perfectly.**

**Don't forget to review.**

**xoxo-Ash!**


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